How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

Julian Morgans shares his impressions of going to the sperm bank. Oh, and he suffered, poor thing :)
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Yesterday I went to the sperm bank and found out everything about their standards. But this was not my original plan. In fact, I planned to learn about discrimination in the field of sperm donation, but nothing happened. I had a theory that white sperm is more readily accepted as black, and donors of certain nationalities and external data are banned due to lack of demand. In general, all for a great article. Although, as I said, it did not work. From the dialog below you will see how standard everything happened. Do you remember the films of the early 2000s with the participation of Sean William Scott, where he eventually always gives sperm, and he is helped by a hot nurse? In general, almost the way it actually happens. Yes, there is a wardrobe, clogged porn and rubber gloves, yes, all the nurses are very beautiful, and yes, I asked for help. But I will talk about this later.

The first thing I had to go through as a sperm donor was a conversation with a nurse named Jane (the name, of course, fictitious).She explained that I must provide a sample of my sperm and blood for testing for diseases and genetic abnormalities. After that, if everything is normal, they will pay me.

And how much will they pay me?

Nurse Jane: We do not pay for your genetic material, but for your time. We would like to receive five samples, for each you will be paid $ 150. After the sperm spends 6 months in quarantine, we will check it again for any abnormalities, and only then we can offer it to the recipient. Then you will receive an additional $ 150 for each sample, so the total amount will be $ 1500.

So you take any sperm?

We do not deny anyone if there are no problems with blood or genetic history. Each donor can have up to ten families, that is, the sperm of each person can be used by ten different women.

And what are future mothers looking for in donors?

Well, everyone has it differently. Last week I was approached by a lady who was looking for a black donor, although she herself was white. But, as a rule, they are looking for a donor of their nationality, the Chinese mother is looking for a Chinese donor. Once a lady came from Egypt, she was also looking for someone from her region.Basically, our clients are single women or lesbians who are hungry for something unusual. Recently, one of our clients was looking for a donor from West Africa.

So how can I take a sample of my sperm?

There is a special men's room, where nurses, as a rule, do not go. There are magazines and movies. We write out “Penthouse”, for example. You can spend there as much time as you want, the main thing is to try to catch your sperm in a test tube, it is much harder to do than to say. When done, just ring the bell and the lab technician will come to pick up your sample. You are young, I think it will not be difficult for you.

I left Jane feeling a little depressed; I was not sure what to do next. The main problem was that I was not going to become a sperm donor. The last thing the world needs is an increase in population, in the case of sperm donation, cash is the only incentive. I already thought about leaving, but it was time to act, I was escorted to a room about the size of a laundry, and told me to start. I was glad to be in a room built specifically for masturbation, I took out the camera and looked around.It was like a bathroom and an office at the same time. In front of the sofa there was a TV on the nightstand, inside which was a lot of porn and funny medical stuff.

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It was nice to see porn magazines again. I leafed through them, thinking about school, remembering how we hid them in the park, in trees, or even buried in the ground. Then I noticed a fridge in the corner, there was so much cheese, biscuits and juices in it that you could feed the passengers of the whole airliner. A sign above him said: “Feel at home”. I took pineapple juice (it improves the quality of sperm), a pack of cookies and cheese. Then I sat on the couch, ate and watched porn.

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In case of emergency care? I liked it. I thought how many fascinating stories, probably, happened here. Probably everyone who donated sperm used this button, but I changed my mind and, instead, tried to masturbate.

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Doing it out of necessity is sucks. After a while I gave up, took more cookies and cheese and thought. On the cabinet, I saw a handbook on donation, took it out to read it and realized that it was a real find. Last paragraph. Read it.

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Yes, you know what that means.This applies to all cases where Sean William Scott had difficulty (I immediately remembered “Road adventure”, I watched this movie more than once). When he called the nurse, she brought a tube for the prostate. I always suspected that in Hollywood it all came up, but at that moment I saw a fairly plausible invitation to take advantage of it. Not that I liked this idea, just for the sake of journalistic integrity, I had to, at least, find out what was happening, so I pressed the call button.

When the nurse arrived, I told her that I was interested in “alternative measures.” It sounded awfully stupid, although I was just looking for clarification, perhaps I was open to something new. After these words, she shuddered and quickly told me that it was possible to set another date, if necessary. I felt my fingers bend inside my shoes, I mumbled something about curiosity and hurried back to my room. Of course, I finished (it couldn't have been otherwise), but after that I left immediately. The sperm bank turned out to be a good place, real professionals work there, there is no discrimination, and the nurses will not do “a little work on the side”.

This I expected that, in general, turned against me.The next day I called them back to cancel, and apologized for the time spent. Yeah, their job is really strange.

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  • How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story

    How I gave the sperm to the bank. Funny story